


we should quit (but we love it too much)

by posieluv



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, a little angsty, penelope is a sad bitch™, vague references to smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 23:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posieluv/pseuds/posieluv
Summary: Penelope Park is 15 years old the first time she meets Josie Saltzman.





	we should quit (but we love it too much)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this over the course of a day, into my phone's notes. Not beta'd. Hope you'll give it a try.

Penelope Park is 15 years old the first time she meets Josie Saltzman.  
  
Her mother had sent her to some fancy private school for supernatural beings and the girl and her twin had greeted her the moment she stepped out of the car, rattling off something rehearsed about being her tour guides. She was much too distracted with how beautiful Josie was to hear it clearly.  
  
It takes her all of 20 minutes to get Josie to agree to go out with her. Her cheeks are pink when she agrees and she looks down at the floor with a soft smile that makes Penelope’s heart soar.

  
—  
  
Their first date is four days later. They spend most of the day walking around the grounds of the school getting to know each other.  
  
They talk about their childhoods, about their birthdays (she learns Josie is the older twin), about their likes and dislikes. Josie goes off on a tangent about her studies at school.  
  
Penelope listens intently, happy to just be next to the girl.  
  
Before they know it, the sun is setting and they have to go back to the dorms.

 

\--  
  
Penelope Park is 15 years old when she kisses Josie Saltzman for the first time.  
  
Penelope Park is 15 years old when she knows she wants to kiss Josie Saltzman for the rest of her life.  
  
And from the way she kisses her back, she thinks Josie might want that too.

  
—

  
Penelope’s 16th birthday comes more quickly than anticipated.  
  
She’s been having so much fun at this new school, she totally forgets her sweet 16 had been less than 4 months away when she arrived until a card comes in the mail from her mother with her birthdate stamped on the front.

  _An Amazon gift card. Great._ She thinks to herself, letting out a sigh.  
  
She pulls out her phone and sends a quick ‘thank you’ text before shoving the letter and gift card into her desk.  
  
Josie comes in then, with a strawberry cupcake and one candle on top.  
  
Penelope is at a loss for words when the younger girl practically skips over to her.  
_Happy Birthday, Penelope._  
Josie presses a kiss to her cheek.  
  
Penelope Park is 16 years old the first time she sleeps with Josie Saltzman. It’s soft murmurs, slow kisses, and flushed skin pressed against each other long into the night.  
  
Penelope Park is 16 years old when she realizes she’s in love with Josie Saltzman.

  
—-  
  
Christmas break arrives and Josie and Lizzie fly off to Europe to go visit their mother. Penelope becomes bored very quickly that week. She's twirling her pen when an idea strikes her.

  
She grabs her phone and orders 300 pens off amazon. When they arrive, she takes the time to spell each of them and give them out to everyone as a Christmas gift. She leaves two in the Saltzman twins’ dorms for when they get back.

 

 _Thank you, mom._ She thinks, leaning back into her pillow.

\---  
  
Penelope Park is 16 years old when she learns that the girl she loves is in danger.

 

She spends the rest of her holiday break in the empty school library, head in various books, attempting to learn everything she can about this “Merge”.  
  
—

 

When Josie returns, Penelope has come up with a plan. She doesn’t think about it that night, instead focusing her attention between Josie’s legs until the sun comes up.

 

\--  
  
Penelope Park is 16 years old when Josie leaves their 6 month anniversary date to go help Lizzie, who is having yet another breakdown.  
  
Penelope Park is 16 years old when Josie cancels on their movie night so that she can help Lizzie get ready for a date.

Penelope Park is 16 years old when Josie bails on her nearly 50 different times for her twin. She stopped counting.

  
Penelope Park is 16 years old when she realizes that Dr. Saltzman and Caroline are getting nowhere with their research for a cure.

 

\---

 

Penelope Park is 16 years old when she breaks Josie Saltzman’s heart in the cruelest way she can imagine.

 

She tells herself it’s for the best as she leaves Josie’s dorm, the echoing sound of the girls sobs and the broken look on her face haunt Penelope’s dreams that night and every night for the rest of the week.

 

She focuses all of her newly available free time into using Josie’s anger and hatred towards her into bettering herself and urging her to put herself first.

 

The way Josie hates her makes her heart hurt, but she tells herself it would hurt so much worse if Josie were dead.

 

\---

 

Penelope spends the next nine months attempting to convince Josie to put her wants and needs above others. She realizes much too late that Josie will never put herself first and decides to do it for her.

 

\--

 

Penelope almost loses Josie the night the girl turns 16.

 

Hope’s words make ice run through her veins.

_I could use your help finding Josie._

She all but runs into a zombie-infested graveyard to help in any way she can.

 

Penelope can’t control the emotions playing out on her face when they do find Josie. She swallows thickly, resisting the urge to hug the sobbing girl.

 

\--

 

When Josie walks past her and M.G. in the hall, Penelope doesn’t hold back and calls out to her.

 

Josie is angry _with her_ and Penelope scoffs. How was Josie’s zombie mother her fault?

 

Josie yells at her about how being selfish for once in her life caused her such pain and Penelope knows her plan has failed.

Josie’s anger hurts Penelope’s heart. But Penelope needs to remember why she’s done all this in the first place. She grabs Josie’s face and crashes their mouths together.

 

Josie kisses her back briefly before pulling away, emotion burning in her eyes.

 

_I hate you._

_I know._

They kiss again and again and again. Pouring all their emotions into their actions until their lips become bruised and swollen and evidence of their night begins to appear across their skin.

 

Penelope knows this is the last time she will ever get to touch Josie this way. She makes it count.

\--

 

She waits to slip out of Josie’s room until the other girl is asleep.

 

She is softly closing the door behind her when her phone blares from her pocket.

 

She curses, pressing silence, wondering why her mother is calling her at 3am.

 _Mom?_ She answers.

 

\--

 

When her mother asks her if she wants to stay in Virginia or move to Belgium. She doesn’t hesitate to answer. Selfish indeed.

 

\--

 

Penelope writes Josie a note, saying goodbye.

She doesn’t expect Josie to avoid her, and pain flashes across her face when she hands over the note.

 

The other girl practically rips it out of her hands telling her she will never read it.

 

Penelope knows then that she has made the right choice to move as far away from Josie as possible. So that she doesn’t have to watch what happens to her.

 

\--

 

Penelope Park spends her 17th birthday packing her small dorm room of belongings into boxes and shipping them to Belgium.

She chooses a few outfits to take with her in a suitcase so she has something to wear when she inevitably arrives before her things.

 

Penelope hasn’t heard from Josie all week, hasn’t even seen her since the slug incident. She knows Josie hasn’t read the letter. Or maybe she has and she just doesn’t care that Penelope is leaving. She would deserve that, after everything.

 

\--

 

Penelope Park is 17 years old when she leaves the _Salvatore Boarding School for the Young & Gifted._

She is just steps away from the front door when Josie calls out to her.

 

_You weren't gonna say goodbye?_

_\--_

Penelope doesn’t anticipate breaking down the way she does that night. But after nearly a year of hiding her feelings, it all starts to bubble up.

_You know, for weeks, I have been hoping that you would give me one reason to stay. Instead, you gave me a thousand reasons to go. Losing on purpose? Always putting yourself second... My heart can't take it. And I will not wait around and watch what happens to you next._

 

Penelope tells Josie everything. She hadn’t been planning to, but she gives Josie her notebook that the pens record into. She tells her to read about the merge.

 

_I don’t understand._

_Well, you will._

_  
_ Penelope swallows the lump in her throat; wiping away Josie’s tears while her own begin to spill over.

 

\--

 

Penelope Park is 17 years old the first time she tells Josie Saltzman she loves her.

 

Penelope Park is 17 years old the last time she tells Josie Saltzman she loves her.

 

Penelope Park is 17 years old the last time she kisses Josie Saltzman.

 

Penelope Park is 17 years old the last time she hugs Josie Saltzman.

 

Penelope Park is 17 years old the last time she sees Josie Saltzman.

 

\--

 


End file.
